Ok, I need some serious advice. I am having the hardest time trying to figure out how to motivate Briley to listen and pick up her toys. After the girls play naturally I ask them to pick up their toys and it is a constant struggle to have Briley do her part. Londyn might complain for a second but she does pick up. Briley will simply continue to play or let Londyn pick up for her. Have I just been spoiled by Londyn who is 98% obedient so I just think all kids are like her? Is it just Briley's age? Briley will be three in January so I think she is old enough to pick up after herself. Am I wrong to assume that? I do help but she simply will let me do it all. I need some advise!!!
Here are some things I have tried with her.
1. Star chart-This is where we are currently. She will flat out tell me she doesn't want a star or a treat.
2. I pick up most-I will do most of it so it's not overwhelming to her but she still won't do it.
3.Time outs-Doesn't work. She will just go to the time out stair.
4. Threatening to spank- I DO NOT like spanking and I would never encourage any parent to do so unless it is the last resort. However, threatening seems to be the only thing that works. I hate doing it and I rarely follow through on the threat but I don't like to threaten at all.
I can use any advise. I really don't know what to do and I'm willing to try anything! All kids go through this right?
8 comments:
Is it easier to put something away than to find it? For example, if my child wants a pink bouncy ball, she will tear apart a whole box just to find it because she is motivated (she wants it NOW.) When it is time to clean up, do toys have to go on separate shelves in a particular order or are they all dumped in a toy box? (Can you get 2 points for making it in the box from across the room?) If clean-up is a game (such as loading up the dump truck with clean clothes that need dumped in their drawers), it is a bit more enjoyable than doing a "chore." It's all perception. And yes a three-year-old can help. (Julia, age 3, puts away more laundry than my older kids and is willing to stick around and do dishes when the other kids make a run for it!) Compliments go a long way. You put the toy away! Yeah!!! Focus on what behavior you want to encourage and ignore the 99 toys still on the floor. Have her be the big example to show Preston how to put toys away. Have races to the "clean up song." (Let the child win, even if it means you keep dropping the toy you are trying to put away.) Whatever you try, avoid tension and contention. It's not worth fighting over. (Never engage in a power struggle with a three-year-old. You'll never win.) Hope it helps. Let me know what happens.
Here's what I've tried with my non-picker-upper. I've tried beat the timer, I let it go off once so she knows what it sounds like and about how long it lasts. Only like 30 seconds and say, "hurry, hurry we need to win." Sometimes that works, or can you pick up 5 things, I'll help you count. If she has a lever you need to figure out what that is. Abby loves candy or TV. I'll tell her she can watch a cartoon or have a treat if she picks up 20 things. Try those, if they don't work, then I have no idea. Good luck!
I think it's a 2nd child thing as my Dallin was like this and still tries to be at 7 yrs. old. I wouldn't let her get away with it though, or she'll just get worse and worse. Maybe don't let her play with the toys for awhile and try to explain that she's not helping to pick them up after wards. Loose a privilege type thing, you know? :) Good luck, kids can be a battle!
I've found that those dog collars that send electric shocks work pretty well. If they don't go pick up the toy, I just hit the little button and "BZZZZT!" they are on their feet running in circles grabbing every toy they can find. It usually takes a couple of zaps before everything is cleaned up, but it works wonders!
I'm totally just kidding by the way. I don't even have any kids yet (but will soon).
We're having the same problem with Bryce. I think it's a three year old thing! :) This is something my dad tried with my little brother. I was about to the end of my rope with Bryce, so I decided to try it. I told Bryce that if he didn't clean up his toys then his dinosaurs (or a favorite toy) would go in the garbage. When he didn't believe me and didn't clean up, I put them in the garbage while he was watching to let him know that I was serious. (They got put in a garbage can where there is just paper so it wouldn't ruin or get the toys all gunky.) I told him that if he cleaned up his toys, I would get them out of the garbage. Needless to say, he didn't want anymore of his toys to go in the garbage, so he quickly picked up the rest of his toys. It is kind of mean, but it worked!
i like cindy's idea, we do this with boston too and it works wonders. Taft really likes to help empty the dishwasher, so that's what I let him do. Then I add on other things like "can you take this toy to the bin" and I encourage each toy to be taken there.
Or we grab a bin and pull it around the room to pick up. Another idea is to put her in the bin and pile the toys on her (softly, of course) and put the bin away, with her in it.... LOL~ she might not want to be put away with the toys so you tell her that's where we put toys... etc. etc.
good luck! money/allowance works soooo well with Boston :)
Hey! Of course you can add us to your blog list! Hello! :) Okay, so ask me about the hitchhiking thing later. I was with my family and it was because of a car emergency. Talk to you later!
Cindy
I have a hard time with Alyssa finishing ANYTHING! When I ask her to finish her dinner or pick up toys, I think she would see how much there is to eat or pick up and she doesn't want to do it.
It has REALLY helped to give Alyssa a goal that she can handle. Meaning that instead of making her finish all of her dinner, I ask her to have three bites and then praise her. Then I would keep going until I knew I could get her to eat anymore without forcing her. (I have no idea how I got a kid who doesn't like eating - it is my favorite hobby!!) It has helped with the toys too. I ask her to pick up three toys and then I pick up one. We just keep going until she is done, but she likes the attention she gets when I do it with her but not FOR her.
Like I said, this has really worked for Alyssa, but I like everyone else's advice too. I guess it is just finding what works the best with every child! Keep us updated and GOOD LUCK!! :)
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